I just want to keep it real. But plenty of tears come today. I'm really struggling with what I am to do. I am in a position in my work to make such a difference and seek the financial support to help the organization do its work on the ground...the ripple effect I must remember...yet there is this ache to be in the communities I have come to love and grown to miss. I don't know how to reconcile those two things. The inner struggle is becoming my own torture as I try to keep myself going here...but the struggle is intensifying. Maybe I just need to be patient and keep holding on and trust His timing. I wonder why this eagerness to get there now is building so strongly the last couple months...maybe its just cause I've been away for a long while. Or, is it an indication I am to just go now? I can't possibly see how I can do that when I am in my position here. I'm sure God will work this all out in His perfect timing, I'm just finding it hard to rest when my soul desires to be somewhere other than it is right now.
Oh mercy, it's gonna be a long ride.
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